a toast to a new year

today is the last day of the year.
allow me to wallow in self pity and tears, for today, it would be the last.

2008. a lot has happened.
some are good, most are bad.

unfortunately, all that left a mark on my mind (and my heart) are the bad things.
and i can say, 2008 is not my year.

the last quarter of the year is definitely the most painful.
it's where i experienced something i thought wouldn't happen to me, something i was not even thinking of.

anyway, here are the "unforgettables":

- i failed a major subject. and because of this, i lost my DOST scholarship. you may think it's not a big deal, but it is. this just means one thing - an additional year on my curriculum. in other words, i won't be graduating on 2010. in a more common term (especially for eng'g people), im DELAYED. and oh, no more stipends for me. :(

- my digicam was stolen. 'nuff said.

- my 5-year relationship has ended. this is probably the most painful i've ever experienced in my whole life. the person i least expected to hurt me was the one who made me cry the most. i was cheated on. and it's only now that i announce it to the multiply world. why? because it's only now that i muster all the courage to let people know that i was the one who lost in a battle for two people.

life is harsh. and sometimes, it can be a backstabber. it hits you when you least expected it. and just like what happened to me, i didn't see it coming. i wasn't aware that it would happen. i wasn't ready.

2008 may be a year full of heartaches and tears, but there's one THING i realized.
I WAS NEVER ALONE. BECAUSE GOD, MY FAMILY, AND MY FRIENDS ARE WITH ME ALL ALONG. :D

Let's all leave our sorrows behind and look forward to a year free of heartaches and pains.
Everyone, let's welcome 2009 with a big smile on our faces!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! :D

p.s.
to the people who experienced break up this year, let's make 2009 a break through year! we can do this. we'll get what we truly deserve! :D

Pumapayat na 'ko! :D

Oh yes. You read it right.

I started my diet last August 30, 2008 and told myself that I'd be serious that time. I stopped eating rice since then! I went to Greenhills each morning to jog and to join the aerobics class. I was even more determined to lose weight because my sister said that she would give P5000 to the biggest loser (of pounds). :D

Here's my picture taken last June 2008. Gosh. That time I wasn't aware that I was this HUGE.

Here's my latest photo:

I lost 26 lbs already. I know I'm still fat. But not as big as before. And I can feel that I will receive P5000 this Christmas. :))

I need to lose 25 lbs more to achieve my target weight! Gosh, Christmas and New Year pa naman. Haha! :D

a love letter to God

Dear God,

I want you to know that I'm doing fine. Lord, You are a powerful God. I can feel that your wonders are working on me now. You have lessened my pain. I hope that this pain will disappear soon.

I want to thank you Lord for giving me my family. They are your most wonderful gift to me. They have been very supportive of me since the day my whole world collapsed. They are the first ones to pick the pieces of my broken heart. They know everything, and they know what's right. If not for them, I don't know what will happen to me. Please continue showering them with so much blessings in life.

Thank you Lord for providing me a support system that I call friends. You designed them in such a way that they won't get tired (right away!) of my "nalulungkot ako" texts. Thank you for designing their shoulder in such a way that I can lean and cry on them. They are precious, and I hope that you bless them too.

I do still think about him a lot. There are still weak moments, but not like before (I used to cry a lot!). I'm not having nightmares about him anymore. Please, please, continue helping me. I want to be healed. I understand that it's a gradual process, but if you can hasten the recovery (I know You can because You are a great God), please do.

Lord, You know me more than anybody else does. You know what's inside my heart. Do I still love him? or is it just my pride that is hurting? I really don't know. but I can feel inside my heart that I'm aching for him.

I miss him but there's nothing I can do about it. Lord, please comfort me. Please don't make me ache for him. Erase all my feelings for him. I know that my love for him has changed (just like what happened to his), but there's still a part of my heart that beats and longs for him.

I want this heart of mine to beat just for You, while You haven't given me the person I will spend my lifetime with. I want to be Your princess for now. Please show me that I'm not really broken.

Lord, if you can give me my one wish this Christmas, above anything else I want peace of mind and heart. I wish that when I wake up, the pain is no longer there. I wish that the time will finally come when I can just smile everytime I remember him. I want to feel happiness and not emptiness. I want to bring back the old me, happy, stress-free, worry-free.

Please help me God. Fill my empty heart with your love. Everytime I'm afraid, comfort me. Whenever I want to feel him, embrace me. Show me your glory. Make me feel loved. Show me that I am special.

Heal me.


Your princess,
Salve

Hurray for UP Singing Ambassadors! Hurray for Kuya Marlon!

UP SA, ang Galing Mo!

Congratulations to the UP Singing Ambassadors for winning in the Chamber Choir and Folk Song Choir categories at the Llangollen International Musical Eisteddfod.

Nice one, Kuya Marlon. Kitang kita ka talaga ha!

A) Chamber Choirs

1. University of Philippines Singing Ambassadors, Philippines (92)

2. Camerata Lacunensis, Canary Islands (91)

3. Lirica, Belguim (85)

=4. Cywair, Wales (84)

=4. Choir of the Collegium Medicum, Poland (84)

6. Youth Capella Harmony, Russia (82)

7. Linkoping Cathedral Chamber Choir, Sweden (79)

8. Cantatrici, England (73)

B) Folk Song Choirs

1. University of the Philippines Singing Ambassadors, Philippines (179)

2. Camerata Lacunensis, Canary Islands (174)

3. Northern Kwa-Zulu Natal, South Africa (173)

=4. Sunday Night Singers, USA (170)

=4. Victoria Junior College Choir, Singapore (170)

=4. Christophorus - Kantorei, Germany (170)

=7. Palmdale High School Chamber Singers, USA (169)

=7. Anatoly Vocal Trio, Romania (169)

=7. Choir of the Collegium Medicum, Poland (169)

10. Langsford Men’s Chorus, USA (166)

11. Concert Choir - University of California, Irvine, USA (163)

12. Choeur d’Arribat Availlais, France (157)

13. Cantatrici, England (153)

You can watch their videos here.

sentiments of a pissed groupmate

my sem ain't over yet.
majors aren't finished yet.

and i still hate you for making me do these things.
i hate you for acting so intelligent.
i hate you for acting like a boss.
i hate you for texting me at 5 in the afternoon that i have to do this thing, finish it, and send it to you within this day.
it's not so easy you know.

we're 4 in a group. why can't the other two do that?!
damn. they're already enjoying their vacations! why can't i do that?!

come on. give me a break!

*sorry for saying this, but i'm just so effin pissed off.*

No, i don't feel any pressure right now... Lol XD

boohooo! poor blog! it's only now that i get to update you.

i've been busy this fast few months (as always!) on my studies. yikes!

yes. i finally convinced myself to be productive and moot. haha. it's not so me! but really, it helps. as of now, there are no signs of failing grades for me yet. and i guess my major subjects won't limit themselves to 2.75 or 3. i'm hoping for a 1 point something baby! well, except for econ, it's so my least favorite subject! i dunno, i always think i really don't have to study much much for that subject compared to others. yeah, that's why i end up neglecting it. but there's no effin' way i'm going to fail it. XD

you know, it's only this academic year that i decided to be really s-e-r-i-o-u-s on my courses. i'm not saying i didn't care about it before. i did. it's just that i'm more serious now than ever. and it feels so good. it's really fulfilling to know that you can do something much more than you think you can. wooohoo.

"salve, you really deserve a pat on the back!" -that's my conscience talking to me XD

anyway, speaking of grades, have you watched Janina San Miguel answer Vivienne Tan's question on Bb. Pilipinas 2008 pageant? forgive me for saying this but i don't think she deserves to win.

watch this 17-year old make a fool of herself on national TV and laugh your ass off:



golly. she should have answered the question in Filipino! she's the dumbest Bb. Pilipinas winner ever. she's pretty, but hey, is beauty really enough?! did the judges forget that this woman will be representing Philippines to the whole world? and quoting Ruffa Guttierez, "Pangit naman kung sabihan ang mga Pilipinang.. you know... hindi marunong sumagot di ba, hindi marunong mag english?!" XD

anyway, there are still seven months before her big event so i guess she has enough time to improve her speech and learn correct grammar. :D

ps i love you

i want to see the movie! i've read the novel and it was good.

kudos to cecilia ahern (daughter of ireland's prime minister who authored the book). could you believe she was just 23 when she wrote this novel?! :D

i just hope hilary swank plays Holly's character well.

anyway, i've been busy lately that's why i don't have the time to update this blog.

Nominate Manila, Philippines for a space in Monopoly World Edition!

It's our time to be recognized!

Monopoly is building a limited edition world version of the famous game!
Nominate Manila, Philippines for a space in Monopoly World Ed.

All you have to do is access this site: monopolyworldvote.com, sign up, nominate Manila, Philippines, and voila! You've just given Manila a chance to be included in the famous Monopoly game!

Spread the word! :D
(not the virus, lol)

my stupid mouth

why is that whenever i'm angry everything wants to come out of my mouth? why is that my bloody mouth keeps on saying words i thought i could never ever say, words that can hurt the feelings of the person i deeply love?


i wish i hadn't said that to you.
i wish i could take back all the hurting words i told you.
i wish i could heal the wounds i caused you.


i'm sorry.

let me make it up to you..

how bitchy can you get?

1. I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.
2. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
3. Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
4. When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
5. My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.
6. All things being equal, you lose.
7. If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.
8. I can only please one person each day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
9. Smile... Tomorrow will be worse.
10. It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
11. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
12. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
13. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
14. Thank you for not annoying me more than you do.
15. Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
16. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
17. This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay on your land.
18. If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.
19. A cynic is someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
20. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
21. I need not suffer in silence when I can still moan, whimper, and complain.
22. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
23. Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.
24. Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others.
25. I'm extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.
26. I'd like to help you out; which way did you come in?
27. How can I miss you if you won't go away?
28. I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. This wasn't it.
29. From the moment I picked your book up to the moment I set it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend to read it.
30. I don't care who you are, what you drive, or where you'd rather be.
31. I'm not cynical. I'm just experienced.
32. I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
33. I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.
34. Don't hate yourself in the morning. Sleep till noon.
35. It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail in the process.
36. You may pretend to dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me.
37. Well aren't you a waste of two billion years of evolution.
38. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
39. Well this day was a total waste of make-up.
40. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
41. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
42. I'm not your type; I'm not inflatable.
43. Well aren't we a bloody ray of sunshine.
44. Don't worry. I forgot your name too.
45. Aww, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?
46. You look like shit. Is that in style now?
47. Wait... I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
48. I don't have an attitude problem, it's supposed to be this way.
49. It's not that I'm antisocial, I'm just not friendly.
50. Nothing is quite so annoying as to have someone go right on talking when you're interrupting.
51. I'm sorry, do I resemble your therapist?
52. I think someone has to be listening to you for it to be an actual conversation.
53. I don't care where you go, as long as you get lost.
54. It is just you.
55. I heard you, and so what if the world's ending at noon today, I can't chat with
you until tomorrow.
56. I don't have an attitude; I have a personality you can't handle.
57. I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
58. You laugh because I'm different; I laugh because you're all the same.
59. If I throw a stick, will you go away?
60. I didn't know regurgitated spam could talk.
61. If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose."
62. If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.
63. A mind is a terrible thing to waste; I'm glad they didn't waste one on you.
64. Next time you get the urge to think...don't.
65. I'm not antisocial. I just don't like people.
66. Would you kindly shut your noise hole.
67. You have no idea how acutely depressing it is to realize we're from the same species.
68. "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit" as said by those incapable of its proper application and as such suffer from it a lot.
69. It's not that I wish any harm to the guy, I'm just saying I could happily sit by while someone knocks his head off.
70. It's people like you who make the Internet all but impossible to trust.
71. Next time you wave, use all your fingers.
72. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
73. Well, I was nearly killed three times, fell off a bridge and broke my jaw.�How was your day?
74. On your way down the banister of life, may your ass collect tons of splinters.
75. Are you renting the space in your head? It could be profitable.
76. I'm sorry.. Am I poking holes in your self-esteem bucket?
77. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.
78. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
79. I wonder what life would have been like if you had had enough oxygen at birth.
80. Whatever it is that's eating you, it must be suffering horribly.

Finally, I'm officially enrolled!

Finally, I'm officially enrolled! Yeah baby, yeah!

BUT the bad news is, I have classes on Saturdays (9-12)! That's the schedule of the newly opened section for IE 28. And guess what?! Maam KPST is not our professor and our class is not on Comp Lab! Can you imagine that? That's the only IE 28 class without computers! Well, we can't do anything about it. I guess I'm just not lucky this sem.

Anyways, because I have classes on Saturdays, I just canceled my CWTS class on Wednesdays. Who would want to go to school 6 days a week? Oh come on, give me a break.

Anyways, I like my teachers this sem, though I haven't met my IE 28 prof who goes by the name Federico Jose Rodriguez. Do you guys know him? I just hope he is maawain, mahabagin, and has a malambot na puso.

Speaking of professors, my Econ 100.1 prof is none other than Mareng Winnie Monsod. I like her. Everytime she speaks I feel like I'm just watching Debate with Mare and Pare. lol.

That's all for now. I just want the world to know that I'm already enrolled. LGIO!

King Tut's remains unveiled for the first time

The mummified remains of King Tut were publicly shown in Egypt on Sunday for the first time in 3,000 years. The boy king’s body is now displayed to all the hundreds of tourists that visit his tomb in Luxor every day.

Do you ever wonder what he really looks like? :D Is he hot or not? lol :p

on passing IE 27, being a book worm, and a lot more

First off, i would like everybody to know that i passed IE 27! Thank You, Lord! I was asking for a 3, but You gave me higher. You are so good to me, and I'm thanking You for that. :D

Anyway, for those who don't know what IE 27 is, let me give you a short description of this course: IE 27 or Probability and Statistics for Industrial Engineering: Applications of logic & probability in industrial engineering; random variables & their functions, descriptive statistics, discrete & continuous probability distributions & their applications. Sampling theory. Estimation & tests of hypotheses.

IE 27 is probably the hardest subject among 3rd year IE students in UP during the first term. Statistics shows that only 1/3 of the batch passes, while the remaining 2/3 either fails or drops the course. What's actually so scary about it is the fact that once you fail, you are already delayed for 1 year. Sad, but true. That's why i swore to God before that I wouldn't fail this. I also made a promise to myself that I would study very, very hard for me to pass it. And I'm glad I just did. :D

But that doesn't mean i have to bid adieu to random variables and probability theorems. So not. I still have to take IE 28 which is much, much harder than 27. Actually, I'm already scared now. Haha. But I know God is with me, and He'll help me with it.

Anyway, sembreak seems to be a little boring for me. I should have not removed Ragnarok from my pc. I'm planning to come back especially now that it's free. Yep, you heard it right. Ragnarok Online is now FREE to PLAY. I tried downloading the whole client through Limewire but SKYdsl is pretty slow. What pain in the ass! Argh. I'll just have to find a cd installer next week.

Last Sunday we went to Gateway to find some Beverly Cleary books but we ended up buying Jean Ure's "Pumpkin Pie" & "Skinny Melon and Me", and Chloe Rayban's "Drama Queen". I already finished reading the first two and will start reading "Drama Queen".

I first read "Pumpkin Pie". What made me so interested in this book is the short description of the story on the back. It says there, "This is the story of a drop-dead gorgeous girl who has long blond hair and a figure to die for... I wish! I am Pumpkin, and I am plump."

Jenny (known as Pumpkin at home) is plump and this does not overly bother her until she and best friend Saffy decide to join a drama club. There she is teased by some unpleasant girls, and when an over-the-hill actress turns up to talk to the club and makes a cruel remark about Jenny's weight, she is mortified. This has the effect of making her binge eat more, encouraged by her chef father who is also a foodie. After Pumpkin has her picture taken for use on a book cover, she and Saffy discover the book is about a fat girl with learning difficulties. She is so horrified that this triggers a serious diet, with bouts of making herself sick when she has to eat. She is good at hiding the weight loss, but bulimia threatens, or even anorexia, and she becomes difficult. She and Saffy fall out, and in the midst of her misery, she realises that Petal and Pip (her siblings) also have major problems. The three of them become supportive of each other for the first time, and their parents have to accept their part in their children's problems. Pumpkin learns to accept she will never be slim, but that she will control her eating and be happy with her body.

Man, I can say that I can relate. Weight is also my problem, just like Pumpkin. Just like her, I lose my self esteem sometimes and look at myself as an ugly, plump bitch. But then I realized, what's there to be sad about?! I mean, come on, nobody's perfect, and if I'm not like this then everyone would be jealous of me! Just kidding! :D

I'm learning to love my body now, though I still like to lose more pounds, I'm beginning to accept the reality. That I'm like this, yeah, a bit on the plump side, but who cares? I'm beautiful (yuck), I can wear what I like to wear, and I can pull off clothes fashionably. And oh, bigger means there's more to love. There's more to explore, and more to adore. What's to be sad about?

But then, I still love to shed some baggages. Haha!!


I started reading "Skinny Melon and Me" last night and I just couldn't stop reading. The story is not actually about Skinny Melon, but Cherry (the "me" in the title, lol). The title is a little misleading, since the story focuses more on Cherry's relationship with her family than on her friendship with Skinny Melon.

The story is about the British 11-year-old Cherry Waterton who is keeping a diary -- not because she wants to, but because her teacher tells her it will "clear out her cupboard." Cherry's cupboard is rather full these days: she's angry about her mother's marriage to picture-book illustrator Roland Butter and disgusted that they are having a baby. Roly tries to be nice, pushing rebus letters under Cherry's door, but Mrs. Butter is writing her own letters to a friend, detailing how miserable Cherry's behavior is making her.

Cherry's diary makes an interesting counterpoint to Roly's sweet, hopeful messages and Mrs. Butter's letters, which show her as suprisingly unaware and often unsupportive of her daughter.

The story is really good. I love it. It is somehow the same as Beverly Cleary's "Dear Mr. Henshaw". (I haven't read that one, my sister just gave a glimpse of the story.) Readers, especially those who have experienced divorce and remarriage, will see something of themselves in Cherry, but parental fears and feelings will come more into focus as well.

Plus, it's really fun deciphering Roly's messages to Cherry! :D


There it is. I guess I've written a lot. I'll be back once I finished reading "Drama Queen" and tell you guys how I like it.

'Till here :D

buhbye haggardness, see yah next sem!

Finally, my first semester has officially ended. At last, after months of haggardness and exhaustion, i now have the time to sit back and relax, and forget about everything related to academics.

I guess this is my most tiring semester ever. Imagine, a load of 19 units (no GE's!), weekly exams, projects, presentations, and "god-give-me-enough-strength-to-face-these-problems" problems. Thank God I survived.

Now that the sem has ended, i'm planning to watch the whole Naruto series, and read fiction books. I had enough of Walpole and Myers, for crying out loud! Haha.

Can't think of anything more to say so i guess it's buhbye for now.
Ciao!

bago magreview ng IE 27

survey muna bago magreview sa ie 27 ;)) i believe i deserve a break

1. Best place to cry?
bed ;) para diretso tulog
2. The thing you love the most?
my hot pink ipod nano ;)
3.Tell us your dream last night
i cant remember ;))
4. Ever hate someone so bad?
yes.
5. The biggest & the most hurtful lie
you heard?
i don't remember anything ;)
6. What's the worst thing you've ever
done?
ewan haha!
7. Wanna be someone else than yourself?
yeah. beyonce ;)) i so love her!
8. Ever slap someone?
yes. arthur. sa sobrang inis :c
9. Last time u cried?
cant remember ;))
10. Biggest crush?
arthur ;)), rob thomas hehe
11. Last mall you went to?
sm centerpoint
12. Last memorable song that you've heard?
get me bodied, haha!
13. Last person who hates you?
idk. haha
14. Biggest lie you said?
madame ;p
15. What u wanna say to someone that u love?
i love you so much.
16. Who do u think is the most ambitious person u know?
secret! haha
17. What do u want to eat right now?
none. sobrang busog na ko
18. Where you at?
house.
19. Have you EVER failed a subject at
school?
gusto mo sapak?!
20. What's on your mind?
argh, idk. haha.
21. Honestly, who are you chatting online right now?
none
22. What is it that you REALLY should be doing right now?
review. but i deserve a break! haha
23. Have you brushed your teeth today?
yep. haha
24. Who are your best friends in
the world?
arthur & family
25. Who do you think is the hottest
person alive?
me!
26. Honestly, are you a good friend?
me thinks so.
27. Do you really think going to school is important?
oo naman. ;)
28. What makes you happy most of the time?
arthur! haha cheesy
29. Honestly, what makes you so sad about right now?
acads. stressful e.
30. Honestly, how old are you now?
19. woah.
31. Honestly, what song are you listening to right now?
none
32. Who do you want to meet/see at this very moment?
arthur haha keso again?!
33. Where do you like to be kissed?
ui.. wholesome ako.. bastos ba iniisip mo?! haha..
34. Honestly, do you hate someone right now?
yes. kakai&maricar. haha