a love letter to God

Dear God,

I want you to know that I'm doing fine. Lord, You are a powerful God. I can feel that your wonders are working on me now. You have lessened my pain. I hope that this pain will disappear soon.

I want to thank you Lord for giving me my family. They are your most wonderful gift to me. They have been very supportive of me since the day my whole world collapsed. They are the first ones to pick the pieces of my broken heart. They know everything, and they know what's right. If not for them, I don't know what will happen to me. Please continue showering them with so much blessings in life.

Thank you Lord for providing me a support system that I call friends. You designed them in such a way that they won't get tired (right away!) of my "nalulungkot ako" texts. Thank you for designing their shoulder in such a way that I can lean and cry on them. They are precious, and I hope that you bless them too.

I do still think about him a lot. There are still weak moments, but not like before (I used to cry a lot!). I'm not having nightmares about him anymore. Please, please, continue helping me. I want to be healed. I understand that it's a gradual process, but if you can hasten the recovery (I know You can because You are a great God), please do.

Lord, You know me more than anybody else does. You know what's inside my heart. Do I still love him? or is it just my pride that is hurting? I really don't know. but I can feel inside my heart that I'm aching for him.

I miss him but there's nothing I can do about it. Lord, please comfort me. Please don't make me ache for him. Erase all my feelings for him. I know that my love for him has changed (just like what happened to his), but there's still a part of my heart that beats and longs for him.

I want this heart of mine to beat just for You, while You haven't given me the person I will spend my lifetime with. I want to be Your princess for now. Please show me that I'm not really broken.

Lord, if you can give me my one wish this Christmas, above anything else I want peace of mind and heart. I wish that when I wake up, the pain is no longer there. I wish that the time will finally come when I can just smile everytime I remember him. I want to feel happiness and not emptiness. I want to bring back the old me, happy, stress-free, worry-free.

Please help me God. Fill my empty heart with your love. Everytime I'm afraid, comfort me. Whenever I want to feel him, embrace me. Show me your glory. Make me feel loved. Show me that I am special.

Heal me.


Your princess,
Salve